Like, not dwelling on the fact that rather than kissing someone on New Years, you just drank an entire bottle of Martinelli’s because you’re a Mormon and you don’t actually drink your sorrows away.
You keep watching your younger siblings, those recently returned missionaries, basically everyone under the age of 22 get married.
And you’re not.
Instead, you keep getting the same question:
“So…you’re still single?”
This post initially started off with a poem…
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Boys are garbage
You start thinking about where you’re at. You start questioning what is wrong with you. Why everyone else seems to find that perfect person, and you’re just left with an empty box of Krispy Kremes.
So you’re still single.
Maybe that’s where you feel secure. In the single zone. Just like your bed.
It’s warm and comfortable, and you leave it when you must. But there it is, right where you left it, every time you come back. Just waiting for you to slide in the covers and bundle up.
Bed is always welcoming, and you think you’re content there…..
Until you realize that you’re probably not being honest with yourself.
Anyone who has ever dated has, at one point or another, thought that the whole idea is archaic and insane. And you’ve sworn to be single forever. And it’s fine.
Being single is good. Because you need to be single. You need to be happy being single. After all, if you’re not happy alone, how will you make someone else happy when you are with them?
When you are single, you get to experience life in a different way. You can hop on a plane at a moment’s notice and spend a month in Rome.
You can recycle the same outfit 3 days in a row because you do you.
No one judges you if you choose to stay in on a Friday night and eat your weight in tacos while binge watching Stranger Things. Because no one asked you out for that night. It’s fine. This is fine.
No one knows if you don’t shave your legs for the span of the winter, because ain’t nobody touching them. Suddenly, the argument men use to grow out their beards to keep their faces warm when it’s cold makes all kinds of sense.
Or maybe you enjoy shaving. If you’re weird.
And you are just you.
You do what makes you happy, and you’re selfish. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, because you are taking care of you. You are trying new hobbies to discover where your passion lies.
You get to find what drives you and commit your whole heart to doing that. Choose who you want to be.
Work on eliminating the qualities that you don’t like about yourself, and do your best to illuminate the qualities that you love. You don’t have anyone telling you or expecting you to be anything. You simply just are–living for you, helping other people, being a good friend, discovering your potential.
The more you know yourself, the greater capacity you’ll have to know someone else.
The better you love yourself, the easier you’ll know how to love a partner. Serve more. Help another person in need. Connect on levels, with people, you may not have been able to meet or know if you were in a relationship.
Be happy alone.
But don’t resign yourself to being that way indefinitely. Because one day, you’ll turn the corner, and you’ll see someone. And they will change your life forever.
Suddenly, the nights spent worrying, the tears shed, and the vengeance you’ve sworn won’t matter anymore.
Why are we constantly defining ourselves by our relationship status? You’ll find someone.
In the meantime, do everything you can to be someone worth finding. Be the person you want to find.
So you’re still single.
So are (is?) Brangelina.
Take the time to be the best single human that you can be.
Then when you trap someone, unleash your inner psycho.
PS. Don’t forget to share your own stories via email! Or leave them in a comment. Visual aids always help. With your help, I know we can make Provo Dating Great Again!