Nice Guy, Nice Try. Next Please


Dear Provo-honies,

Thank you so much for joining The Provo Chronicles for this week’s post. To start of this article, please consider the following: what are the real parameters that surround the “nice guys”?

Are they really always getting the short end of the stick? Are they misunderstood? And what *exactly* qualifies someone as such? Now, the men on the Bachelor concur that they are bad news…


nice guy bachelor

And while agreeing with ANYTHING that Chad says seems archaic, an email came in from a reader who had some thoughts to share on the subject. This writer is actually a way solid dude, (NOT LIKE CHAD.)  And his thoughts were intriguing. He has even sparked some debate. Here is what he had to say:


 It has come to my attention that an increasing number of the male population are coming down with a terrible affliction. Diagnosis? Nice Guy Syndrome.


Sufferers of NGS assume that life isn’t fair to “nice” guys and that “nice” guys finish last.


Well, “nice” guys do indeed finish last. They finish after ugly guys, even. And there is a very good reason for this. No, women don’t love jerks. No, women are not the most shallow people, nor are they animalistic. They just crave a relationship with a little substance, with something deeper than “niceness.”


Oh, and being nice for your own personal gain isn’t being nice at all. No woman, nor any person for that matter, is obligated to give you ANYTHING for being nice. 


One should be nice because all people deserve kindness and respect. All people are still indeed people. Nobody deserves to be treated poorly. And now you’re thinking “I am nice to women, but I’m not getting anything out of it.” Let me repeat myself, being nice to get something is not kindness at all.


In fact, this is called manipulation and is a terrible thing to do to another human being. As I said before, all people crave a deeper relationship than simply just kindness.


So, do yourself a favor and become deeper than the fake niceness that you usually display. Not to gain women, you understand, but to become a better and deeper person.


Think about what you love and become more invested in it. Rather than looking for the perfect person, become the perfect you. I promise that you will find more happiness and more people in your life. Get over your self-pitying and get a life. Your happiness is dependent on you, not on others.


You can ignore this advice and continue to try and manipulate people into giving you what you want, but it won’t happen. People in general are pretty perceptive and can see right through your transparent attempts. You think that women choose a “jerk” over you because they like to get their heart broken, when in actuality, the jerk is just more dynamic of an individual. At least in their eyes.


Perhaps if “nice” guys would stop making a fake “perfect gentleman” façade, they would understand that their approach is wrong. Treat others as actual humans and you will see an increase in the amount of people in your life.”



Pretty interesting perspective, no? What are your thoughts on the subject? The Provo Chronicles would love to hear from you! Leave a comment or shoot an email with any comments, clarifications, justifications, etc.


Dwight agrees with Nick, presumably.


PS. If you have your own stories that you would like to have published, please drop a comment or an email and share your success or woes with your fellow Prov-ites!