If You Can’t Be With The One You Love…


Dear Provost,

On tonight’s edition of The Provo Chronicles, comes a story of unexpected love.

Madeline and Dallas were in the singles ward together and also both went to BYU.


So they would frequently walk home from school together. Which was awesome for Madeline, because she had a big huge crush on Dallas and his rad fro.

Then one Saturday, he texted her to ask if she could give him a call. Knowing the basic “24 HOUR RULE,” she hesitated, but ultimately hit up them digi’s because she had become low key obsessed with him.

Doubling with a couple friends, they go to see Kung Fu Panda and they all seemed to have a good time. So when she got home, Madeline sent the post-date text and was all giddy and in love.

Because in Provo, the motto is, “if you don’t fall in love after 5 minutes, you’re probably doomed to be a spinster.”

On cloud 9, she heads to her roommate’s room for some good old fashioned pillow talk…where her roommate informed her that Dallas had asked her first, but she was dating someone so she turned him down.

Madeline was crushed. Her heart dropped and she felt so stupid to have been a second option.

And then he never responded to her text…

At church the next day, he was on his phone, so she just assumed he was not interested…and also kind of a jerk for not responding to her text.

Until 3 days later.

“Yeah, I talked it over with my friend, and we decided that we probably shouldn’t have seen a movie for a first date, since we didn’t really get to know each other.”

To which she decided to wait as long as he waited until she responded. You know, the game. Except then he started texting her the next day. And the next day. And the next day, and the next day. Basically all the time because he wanted to hang out with her–and go out with her.

Needless to say, he started pursuing Madeline HARD.

And she became his girlfriend.

It took some time, but eventually the two even got married.

There is a certain set of rules for dating.

Don’t kiss too early, wait 3 days to call, do something exciting for your first date, close the gap, post date text…

On and on.

You’ve heard them all.

You’ve likely even practiced most of these rules. And chances are, you have broken the rules. But what we learn from this story, is that…there aren’t really any!

The thing is, if you both want to be together, no amount of scheming is really going to solidify that any more than just going with your gut. But adhering to the rules may prevent you from finding love.

If Madeline had written him off after asking her second and not responding to her text, they probably never would have gotten together. The thing is, she wanted to be with him, and he wanted to be with her, and once two hearts want the same thing, the rest is just semantics.

Why do we not do what we want because we are following some unwritten guidebook?

Why not just go for it? Text her the day you get her phone number. Ask him if he likes you. DO WHAT YOU WANT.

Relationships are about compatibility and pheromones. Everything else is likely just garbage.

What do you think?

Drop a comment below and let’s chat.


PS. Don’t forget to share your own stories via email! Or leave them in a comment. Visual aids always help. With your help, I know we can make Provo Dating Great Again!


One thought on “If You Can’t Be With The One You Love…

  1. So good! Don’t play “the game” haha why start off a relationship by not communicating properly and having to guess how each other feels. Do you want your future spouse holding feelings back from you? Not me;) my wife and I were able to get to know each other and grow close to each other by starting good communication from day one. It has been essential in our marriage:)


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