Why You Might Not Be Getting a Second Date


Dear Prov-alone,

Some time ago, a friend mentioned a girl that he had taken out on a date. He said they had tons of fun, he liked her, but never took her out again.

How many times has this happened to you?

Do you ever feel yourself being left in the dark after what seemed like an amazing date?

If you answered yes to either question, you need to ask yourself one more thing:

Do you send a post-date “thank you” text?

Just something short and sweet at the end of the date to show a little gratitude and interest.

Poll: If a girl doesn’t send you a text after the date, does she get a second one?

About 65% of guys on social media responded in the negative. They generally agreed, if the girl doesn’t post-date text, she’s probably not interested.

However, the other 35% said that if he had a good time, he would ask her out again regardless. The men further agreed that although not required for pursuit, that text is welcomed–just some reassurance that you’re both on the same page.

One guy said, “a date is for 2 people to equally judge and determine if the other is right for them. Although the guy should be a gentleman, the girl should send some form of confirmation that a second date is worth both their time.

Then, if the guy feels the same way he needs to ask her out. Dating is a two way deal, not just a time for a guy to show how ‘nice’ he is.”

Real talk, everyone in Provo is thirsty AF. And most of the residents want to get married. At least half. Probably. So stop wasting peoples’ time. If you’re interested, be interested. If you’re not, let them down gently. Either way, just say it. Because if you beat around the bush, you’ll just crush all the berries.


Student consensus

Going on campus, 150 students were polled [at BYU and UVU] and just over 80% of guys said they would like to get a thank you/appreciation text in order to know if the girl is interested.

It was stated repeatedly that a verbal thank you at the end of the date was simply polite and somewhat obligatory.

Although, apparently not always expressed…For the record, if that’s you, you’re the worst.

AskMen says:

Unless you have found the worst date on the planet, she will say thanks when the bill gets paid. That’s just basic manners. But dating goes beyond the simple manners, and the standards are a little different than a dinner in which you treat a client to a steak.

I am very big on the “next day” thank you, either in the form of a text or a call. If you have succeeded in making a first or second date anything more than just awkward conversation between two relative strangers, that is a credit to you and your skills in the dating game.

The communication the next day is key, but the main component of that is that she needs to take the first step.

You already did your part when you asked her out. The reason why this one is key is twofold:

First, it reinforces that she appreciates what you did — that you had the nerve to ask her out and you planned an evening. The right girl will call attention to this fact in a nice way in the 48 hours after the date.

The second reason is that if she skips this one, she is likely not interested in a second date. Don’t start getting creative and reaching out to her in clever ways to open the door for the thanks. Trust me, I’ve tried it.

Posting on her wall does not come across as casual; it’s a pretty obvious play. You need to take this as a hint. If she hasn’t really given you the proper follow-up, you should know not to waste any more time.


A post-date thank you text is a simple, easy way for a girl to let a guy know she’s interested.

Just say something, somehow. Communicate. Be gracious. And do so in a timely manner, (within 24-48 hours) because as exciting as a little mystery can be, everyone needs a little reassurance.

And if you’re constantly wondering why you never get that second date, maybe this is the reason.


PS. Don’t forget to share your own stories via email! Or leave them in a comment. Visual aids always help. With your help, I know we can make Provo Dating Great Again!



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